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Buying a House
A newly married couple viewed a house in the country, after viewing it they found they had not been notified where the WC was, so they wrote to the vicar who had shown them the house and asked him where it was. The vicar ignorant of the WC, thought they meant the Wesleyan Chapel, and sent the following reply: Dear Sir and Madam, I regret the delay in answering your letter but beg to inform you that the nearest WC in the district is ten miles from the house. This is rather unfortunate if you are in the habit of going regularly, however it may please you to know that many people take their lunch and make a day of it. By the way, I may add that it is made to seat 500 people, and the committee have decided to fit plush seats for greater comfort. Those who can do so walk, whilst others go by train and get there just in time. There are special facilities for young ladies presided over by the vicar who gives all the assistance in his power, whilst young children all sit together and sing during the proceedings. Hoping this information will be useful to you. I am, Yours faithfully, Rev. G.D. Parks. PS Hymn sheets are provided and will be found hanging behind the door.

Buying a House

A newly married couple viewed a house in the country, after viewing it they found they had not been notified where the WC was, so they wrote to the vicar who had shown them the house and asked him where it was.

The vicar ignorant of the WC, thought they meant the Wesleyan Chapel, and sent the following reply:

Dear Sir and Madam,

I regret the delay in answering your letter but beg to inform you that the nearest WC in the district is ten miles from the house. This is rather unfortunate if you are in the habit of going regularly, however it may please you to know that many people take their lunch and make a day of it.

By the way, I may add that it is made to seat 500 people, and the committee have decided to fit plush seats for greater comfort. Those who can do so walk, whilst others go by train and get there just in time. There are special facilities for young ladies presided over by the vicar who gives all the assistance in his power, whilst young children all sit together and sing during the proceedings.

Hoping this information will be useful to you.

I am,

Yours faithfully,

Rev. G.D. Parks.

PS Hymn sheets are provided and will be found hanging behind the door.

Eh!!
John was leaving school at the end of the fifth form. He went to see the Youth Employment Officer for advice. John: "What in your opinion, is the best job in the district?" Officer: "Well, now you're asking." John: "I know." Officer: "Well, why are you asking then?" John: "Because I don't know." Officer: "But you just said you knew." John: "I know." Officer: "Well, there you are then."

Eh!!

John was leaving school at the end of the fifth form. He went to see the Youth Employment Officer for advice.

John: "What in your opinion, is the best job in the district?"
Officer: "Well, now you're asking."

John: "I know."
Officer: "Well, why are you asking then?"

John: "Because I don't know."
Officer: "But you just said you knew."

John: "I know."
Officer: "Well, there you are then."

Careless
A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to sign a cheque, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it. Realising his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great! Some a**ehole's got my pen!"

Hmm .... What Now?
..... Green 1 Eye Test
..... Green 2 Total Eclipse August 11 1999
..... Green 3 Buying a House
..... Green 4 Justice African Style
..... Green 5 Viagra? Who needs it!
.....
Geologist - Fault finder

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