H.G.V. Drivers Highway Code Test |
|---|
| Questions | Answers |
|---|
| When should you use headlights? | To warn your mates of speed traps |
| When do you overtake on the left? | When the b*stard in front won't move over |
| What documents do you need to take on the road with you? | Daily Mirror, The Sun, Playboy, Forum ..... |
| When must you stop? | To have a slash, leg over, or a tot of brandy |
| Where should you not park? | Outside the house of the women you're having it off with |
| What would you expect to find on a rural road? | Rural tarmac |
| How many types of pedestrian crossing are there? | Two - those who make it, those who don't |
| What is the correct procedure for overtaking on the motorway? | Foot hard down, eyes shut and smile |
| When should you use the fast lane on a motorway? | When going home on a promise |
| What do you do in the event of a breakdown on the motorway? | Leave the blo*dy thing and hitch a lift home |
| What does a yellow box junction mean? | They've run out of white paint |
| What do broken white lines mean on the road? | Careless navvies |
| What does the Highway Code say about tyres? | Use only round ones |
| When can you cross double white lines? | After 9 pints, 2 vodkas and a whisky |
| How do you avoid drowsiness on the motorway? | Goose the hitchhiker |
| What must you check when leaving a building site? | That you have enough timber under the sheet for a new kitchen cabinet |
| What do double yellow lines on the road side mean? | A Chinese take-away |
| Where do you situate your danger triangle when broken down? | Up the transport managers a*se |
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