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Hazardous Materials Analysis

do not touch
Element :Woman
Symbol :Wo
Discoverer :Adam
Atomic Mass :Accepted at 55 kg but known to vary from 45 kg to 225 kg
Occurrence :Large quantities found in urban areas, with trace elements in other areas

Physical Properties
Surface usually covered in powder and paint film
Boils at nothing, also, freezes for no apparent reason
Melts if given special treatment
Bitter if used incorrectly
Found in various grades, ranging from virgin material to common one

Chemical Properties
Affinity to gold, silver, platinum and all precious stones
Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
Explodes spontaneously without warning or reason
Softens and takes on a rosy glow when soaked in hot water
Greatly increased activity when saturated with alcohol
The most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common Uses
Highly ornamental - especially in sports cars
Can be a great aid to relaxation

Tests
Pure specimens turn bright pink when discovered in a natural state
Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen

Wanted

The Perfect Woman
Must be 3 feet tall (91.44 cm), have no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
Looks unimportant.
Must be solvent and able to travel.
Part exchange considered.

Hmm .... What Now?
pointer ..... Blue 1 Moving in
pointer ..... Blue 2 Anonymous
pointer ..... Blue 3 Hazardous Materials Analysis
pointer ..... Blue 4 Engineering Definitions
pointer ..... Blue 5 Whose Job Is It?
pointer .....
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded

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