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Ouch!
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ouch! that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! that hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ouch! even THAT hurts", she cried. The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why, yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger."

Ouch!

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.

"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.

"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.

"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ouch! that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! that hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ouch! even THAT hurts", she cried.

The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a natural blonde?"

"Why, yes," she said.

"I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger."

Urgent Warning
There is a new virus going around, called "work." If you receive any sort of "work" at all, whether via email, Internet or simply handed to you by a colleague ... DO NOT OPEN IT. This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open "work" or even look at "work" have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter "work" via email or are faced with any "work" at all, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words "I've had enough of your crap ... I'm off to the pub." The "work" should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the "work" to the bin. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest pub with two friends and order three pints of beer (or rum punch). After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no longer be of any relevance to you and that "Scooby Doo" was the greatest cartoon ever. Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the "work" virus has already corrupted your life. CHECK FOR VIRUSES NOW

Urgent Warning

There is a new virus going around, called "work." If you receive any sort of "work" at all, whether via email, Internet or simply handed to you by a colleague ... DO NOT OPEN IT.

This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open "work" or even look at "work" have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly.

If you do encounter "work" via email or are faced with any "work" at all, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words "I've had enough of your crap ... I'm off to the pub." The "work" should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the "work" to the bin. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest pub with two friends and order three pints of beer (or rum punch). After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no longer be of any relevance to you and that "Scooby Doo" was the greatest cartoon ever.

Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the "work" virus has already corrupted your life.

CHECK FOR VIRUSES NOW

Managers
Isn't it strange how managers are similar to nappies? They both hang around your a*e and are usually full of sht! To be serious though, managers should be treated with love, care, and attention. Indeed, just like mushrooms. Kept in the dark and fed on bullsh*t! For Sale: Full set of Encyclopædia Brittanica. The manager knows everything!

Managers

Isn't it strange how managers are similar to nappies? They both hang around your a**e and are usually full of sh*t!

To be serious though, managers should be treated with love, care, and attention. Indeed, just like mushrooms. Kept in the dark and fed on bullsh*t!

For Sale:
Full set of Encyclopædia Brittanica. The manager knows everything!

Hmm .... What Now?
..... Blue 1 Moving in
..... Blue 2 Anonymous
..... Blue 3 Hazardous Materials Analysis
..... Blue 4 Engineering Definitions
..... Blue 5 Whose Job Is It?
.....
He who laughs last thinks slowest!

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